I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We talked him into tasing himself.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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