so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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