I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
