I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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