Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so that wasnt chicken after all
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
