I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
