My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
