if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
