the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
