I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
