Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
