there was a trapeze. enough said
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
