he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
