Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
