the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
4 words: hood of his car
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
