I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
