So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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