I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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