Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
