The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so that wasnt chicken after all
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
