I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize