YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
