Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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