Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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