I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
