Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize