man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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