Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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