he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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