Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
