so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was so not down for the gang bang
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
