and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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