fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize