so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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