I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
