Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
