We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
