my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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