xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
