Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
