I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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