I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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