I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
