Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
