carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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