It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
