that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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