In America we eat man semen.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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