I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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