ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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