we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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