Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
