so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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