We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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