My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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