Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
