i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
