im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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