This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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