Sponge bath it is.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
