Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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