you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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