There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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