WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
