Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
