I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
being pregnant is like rehab
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I currently don't understand fingers.
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