You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
